Newest 'Toon
Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been two months since my last cartoon (watch children didn't count). I strayed from my normal cartooning schedule due to an influx of caricature orders for Christmas. The patrons got their orders in plenty early but like I did for so many years of schooling, I waited until the last minute and had to work my little buns off to get them finished. During those sessions I was in a very dark place, and there was no way I could muster up the energy to draw a good ol' fashioned 'toon. But I am happy to say that I am taking a hiatus from caricatures and I am ready to get back to work.
I hope to finish the adventures of Richard Garrettson within the next two weeks. There are only two more chapters to go and you do not want to miss the surprise ending, trust me.
And now the latest creative writing sample submitted by CR...
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Burdens a-plenty
Tereesa was not a woman who shied away from taking advantage of others, and she thought that she had the perfect money making plan...to pose as a struggling art collector.
The plan was simple...go around and befriend local struggling artists, playing on their “struggling artist” sensitivities to weasel them into selling their art for dirt cheap. Once she could confirm that she had a lion’s share of their work, she would see to it that the artist would die of a drug overdose.
Next came the hype campaign; posting positive anonymous comments online about the late artists’ work, inquiring of the masses whether anyone knew where her or his work could be acquired. After a few dozen posts, and the inevitability of one or more morning news shows catching wind of and reporting on the story of an artist overdosing on drugs, she would casually produce works for sale.
She implemented the plan with a dexterity of mind attributable to her ability to forget about those whom she was trampling underfoot in her race to early retirement. As an analogy, Tereesa was to the art world what DeBeers is said to be to the diamond market...the monopoly that controls prices, taking the customer to the ringer.
The only problem, as is often the case with greedy sociopaths, was that she kept collecting. Before long, the long arm of the law had her in its grasp, through a few deft maneuvers, including planting a “struggling artist” in a nearby city for her to prey upon. (While those of you who watch Cops may wonder if Tereesa asked, “Are you a cop?” before buying any of the art, consider the following: 1) remember that this question seems to be quite useless, as deception works in favor of the righteous as well as the morally suspect, and a cop who had ANY training would hopefully say “no” in response to this ridiculous question; and, 2) she needed to befriend the artist, not make her or him suspicious, so the employment of this strategy would not at all have been efficacious.)
After a somewhat lengthy trial and conviction proceeding, and in defense of her unseemly employment, Tereesa was heard mumbling something about the power of the free market as she was escorted out of the courtroom to her jail cell.
Catching as much of what Tereesa had said as is relayed here, and waiting until she was far enough away to do her no harm even if she tried, the dull prosecutor yelled in a rather inappropriate manner above the din of the courtroom, “Not so tough without your free market magic, are ya?!?” The pundits would later remark, not without a bit of hyperbole to drive ratings, that ne’er had a more confusing rejoinder been issued from a prominent personage in a courtroom.
-CR
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